We Can — But We Choose Not To

This article follows my previous reflection, Why Aikido Is an Art of Peace.

My teacher has often said that a goal in Aikido practice is that both are happy, and that one purpose of Aikido is to create better relationships.

At the same time, Aikido is Budo. It must remain effective.

This raises an important question:

Who am I?

We can train ourselves to develop the ability to strike, throw, or otherwise stop an attacker directly.

But having the ability is not the same as using it.

In Aikido, we should develop the ability but we choose not to use it. We choose a different way of responding. This is an essential part of training.

This choice reflects who we are, and who we want to become.

I remember a moment from a summer seminar many years ago.

During a Saturday evening gathering in the countryside, there were other guests present. Some had had too much to drink. One of them approached Shishiya Sensei on the dance floor in a provocative way.

Sensei turned towards him with a big smile and gave him a hug.

The man was surprised and immediately calmed down.

The Choice in Practice

In a conflict, it may seem easier to respond with aggression.

In Aikido, we choose a different path.

We aim to de-escalate the situation and ultimately create better relationships, even in conflict.

This is also reflected in how we train. In the dojo, we do not try to suppress uke. We try to support.

In techniques such as shihonage, we do not throw uke forcefully into the tatami. Instead, we use kuzushi, breaking balance, and guide the movement. As uke falls, we support.

Trust is essential.

Uke must feel safe enough to follow, and confident that we will not harm them. Only then can we truly lead.

No Pain Techniques

My teacher has always emphasized that we should not rely on pain in our techniques.

This reflects both the Aikido mind, treating uke with compassion, and practical effectiveness.

In a real situation, we cannot rely on pain. The attacker may not feel it.

Instead, we rely on kuzushi, taking balance, even if only for a moment.

O-Sensei said that Aikido is love.

There are many expressions of love, and one of them is compassion.

In this sense, we do not train to cause pain but to resolve conflict.

To practice Aikido in this way is not only to develop skill, but to shape our character.

The question is not what we are capable of doing, but what we choose to do.